What Every Teenager Needs To Know
Everywhere in this society sex and sexuality are openly displayed for all to see. In this climate of free sex and loose moral standards, it becomes imperative for Muslims parents to be proactive in the sexual education of their children. Now, although for many of us, the though of telling our children whys, hows and wheres of the proper sexual behavior between a man and woman, might make us cringe, when we think of the alternative, we'll see what we that we have no choice. Sexual education is a phrase that is taboo for many Muslims.
Part of the reason for this misunderstanding, is that people who encourage fornication and sexual deviations, are often the ones who teach sexual education in this society. How can Muslim parents then not worry when schools and mass media portray fornication as sexual freedom, and homosexuality as an acceptable sexual orientation'? But does this mean that Muslim parents and educators should choose that their children have no sexual education at all? The answer is no! Children will always receive some kind of sexual education, and even if you isolate them, they will still get it from other children! The correct attitude should be to give our children the right sexual education, one that is derived from the Qur'an and Sunnah. It is therefore the obligation of every parent to be prepared to carry out this task, and to be able to do so in the best manner.
This article will, InshaAllah, present some guidance that may make the chore less stressful for all parties involved.
The Different Stages of Sexual Education
7 – 10 years: The age of Discernment: At this age, the child should know the etiquette of entering the parents' room, and the rules concerning looking at others
10 – 14 years: Adolescence: At this age, the child should learn how to avoid sexual arousal, and should be protected from it.
14 - 16 years: Puberty: When the child should know the etiquette of sexual intercourse, if he or she is ready to get married in the near future
16 & Above: Youth: The unmarried young men and women should learn sexual abstinence, and the dangers of adultery and fornication (zina).
The Age of Discernment
In most homes, young children move about quite freely, and often take for granted that they can enter wherever they want. However, there are limitations for older children, who at certain times should ask their parents' permission before entering their bedroom.
Allah subhannahu wa tala says: "oh you who believe! Let your slaves and children among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence), on three occasions: Before morning prayer (salatul Fajr), and when you put off your clothes for the noon-rest, and after the late night prayer (salatul Isha). These are three times of privacy for you, outside these times, there is no sin on you or them to move about freely attending to each other. Thus Allah makes clear the Signs to you. And Allah is All-Knowing All-Wise [24:58]
It is then preferable that when the child is old enough to discern between right and wrong, and easily understands and follows directions (usually around age seven), that he should ask permission before entering. This is especially emphasized at the times when the parents are usually undressed, i.e., from the time after Isha prayer to the Fajr prayer and during an afternoon nap.
There is no doubt that this teaches the children to be decent, and aids to protect them from unintentionally stumbling upon scenes that may prove shocking to them. When the child reaches puberty he should be taught to ask permission before entering at all times, as Allah says, "And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them also ask for permission, as those senior to them (in age). Thus Allah makes clear His Signs for you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise" [24:59] By teaching and reinforcing these lessons over time, decency and modesty can gradually be integrated into the child's character.
Meeting The Other Sex: The Etiquette's of Lowering The Gaze
One of the hares lessons for us raised in the West to unlearn, is this notion of eye contact. Although most of us were taught from childhood that it is impolite to stare, we are also taught to look at someone when they were speaking to us, there was no such thins as lowering the gaze. The evidence of this is seen everyday, as men and women openly ogle and drool all over each other in the streets. This si why it is so pressing for us to make sure that Muslim children become aware of what is lawful for him or her to look at and what is not. This is more expressing in the case of children who live here in a non-Muslim society, where they are constantly exposed to indecent scenes of both men and women, in the streets, on televisions, in magazines, on billboards, etc. Indeed the eyes is the window to the soul, and a lustful look can lead to feelings of desire, which can lead to thoughts of fornication. This is why looking at the opposite sex is regulated by the Islamic Shari'ah, where the rules depend on whether they are mahram (plural maharim) or not. This refers to women with whom a man has a specified degree of relationships that precludes marriage.
Etiquettes of Looking
Men Looking at Mahram Women
A man is allowed to look at women who are his mahram, but only at what is usually exposed of their bodies for necessity of working inside the house, such as the head, the hands, the feet, and the neck. For Allah, subhannahu wa ta'ala, says, and say to the believing women that they would lower their gaze and guard their private parts, that they should not display their beauty and ornaments, except what ordinarily appear thereof. That they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their songs, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons." [24:31] However, one should not look at what is usually covered such as the knees, the breasts, the armpits, etc. This means that woman should be decently clothed while in the presence of mahram relatives.
Men Looking at Non-mahram women
It is forbidden for a man too look at women who are strangers to him (i.e., who are outside the mahram relationship). He should lower his gaze as Allah orders him, "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts, this is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do." [24:30]
Adolescent boys (and even younger ones) that can distinguish between a beautifully woman and a less beautiful one, and can appreciate a women's physical attributes, should be taught to lower their gaze. This protects them form getting their sexual desires aroused. It is sad to hear people saying that there is nothing harmful in an innocent look, especially in the case of teenagers, with the idea that this may somewhat extinguish their sexual desires. On the contrary, a lustful look may lead to a greater sin, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasalam, said, "it is written on the son of Adam his lot of zina (fornication/adultery), that will inevitably afflict him. The zina of the ears is hearing, the zina of the tongue is talking, the zina of the hand is assaulting, and the zina of the foot is walking; the heart desires and wishes, and the genitals affirm or deny." (Bukhari and Muslim)
In fact, lowering the gaze is a good deed for which a Muslim is rewarded. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasalam said, "NO Muslim whose eyesight falls inadvertently on the beauties of a woman and then he lowers his gaze, But Allah will credit him for a worship he will appreciate its sweetness in his heart." (Ahmad, at-Tabarani) While the first inadvertent look causes no sin on him, the young man should be taught not to follow it by another, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said to Ali Ibn Abi Talib, "oh Ali! Do not let the second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you, but not the second." (Tirmithi, Ahmad and Abu Dawud)
Men Looking at Other Men and Women Looking at Other Women
Today, both men and women walk about practically in a state of undress, therefore it is more important now more than ever, for Muslim children to be taught to lower their gaze and this applies to both men and women. A man is not allowed to look at another man's awrah, i.e. The area between his navel and his knees (these two parts included), as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A man should not look at the awrah of another man nor a woman of a woman, nor should a man go under one cloth with another man, nor a woman with another woman." (Muslim) He also said to a man he saw uncovering his thigh, "Cover your thigh, for the thigh is awrah." (al-Hakim)
It is clear from this that a man should always cover himself from the navel to the knees in the presence of others, and should not uncover his awrah while swimming or playing sports games or while taking a shower in the presence of others. It is highly recommended to teach boys to cover themselves down to the knees at a young age (around seven) so that they grow up with this habit.
This rule applies equally to Muslim women looking at other women, whether these are Muslims or disbelievers. Many of us however, feel no shame at sitting and browsing through a Victoria's Secret Catalogue, or through the pages of a swimsuit or fitness magazine, where the women are practically naked, doing so either out of indifference or ignorance. It is regrettable to see a Muslim woman allowing herself to look at non-believing women who are barely clothed, believing that this is allowed. Girls should be taught to lower their gaze when they see such scenes, and should learn to cover their awrah at all times, when they are in presence of other women, Muslim or otherwise. The awrah of the woman with respect to other Muslim women is the same as the awrah of the man, i.e., from the knees to the navel.
Men Looking at Teenage Boys
While in general, men are allowed to look during usual activities at teenage boys whose beards have not yet grown in, they are forbidden to look at them if there is a fear of temptation, especially in the case of handsome boys. Looking then becomes unlawful, because this may lead to sexual desire and sexual deviation.
Women Looking at Men
A woman is allowed to look at men while they are walking on the street, for the purpose of buying in the market, or other lawful activities, provided that hey are properly clothes, with their awrah completely covered.
The prophet, (swt) allowed Aisha to look at the Abyssinians playing with their spears in the courtyard of his Masjid, while she was hiding behind him. Women are not allowed to look closely at a man, however, or to have a lustful or provocative look, or to look deliberately at them when they happen to be in the same setting (such as on a bus, or in a room). The reason for this rule being somewhat more relaxed for women is that usually they are not the ones who initiate a relationship, due to their nature, and that men are usually more daring.
Looking at a Small Child’s Awrah
There is a consensus among the scholars that children who are four years old or younger have no awrah, meaning that there is no harm in looking at their naked bodies. The awrah of children over four years is the genitals and the buttocks. When the child’s consciousness of sex has developed, or when evidence of sexual urge is noticed in him/her, the awrah limit becomes the same as that of adults and should be treated as such. However it is better to accustom the child to being always properly clothed.
All the rules of prohibition of looking become void in cases of necessity such as in administering first aid or medical treatment or during a trail testimony as the judge requests. Other exceptions are looking at one’s spouse, a man looking at a woman for the prospect of marrying her. These two exceptions will be discussed later.
A child who is raised in the context of these divine rules of lowering the gaze will no doubt acquire a distinguished Islamic personality, and a noble social character. Indeed, there is no better way to teach the child these manners, than for us the parents to lead the way and set the proper example for them to follow.
Who Is Considered Mahram?
Any woman, with whom a man has a relationship (of blood or foster) that precludes marriage, is considered a mahram to him. Mahram women include his mother, grandmother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, grandaunt, niece, grandniece, his father’s wife, his wife’s daughter, his mother-in-law, his foster mother (the one who breast fed him), foster sisters, and any foster relatives that are similar to the above mentioned blood relatives. For the Prophet, (swt), said, “What is forbidden by reason of kinship is forbidden by reason of suckling.” (Bukhari)
These are considered maharim because Allah mentions them in the Holy Quran, “And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed; indeed it was shameful and most hateful, and an evil way. Forbidden to you (for marriages) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster mother who breast fed you, your foster milk suckling sisters, your wives’ mothers, your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives who whom you have gone in but there is no sin on you if you have not done so (to marry their daughters), the wives of your sons who spring from your loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed; verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [4:22-23] All the man’s female relatives mentioned in these two verses are considered his maharim, because it is unlawful (haram for him to marry them, except the wife’s sister mentioned last, who is not a mahram because he can marry her if he divorces his wife, or if she dies. Reciprocally, if a woman is a mahram to a man, such her brother, her father her uncle, etc. then he is a mahram to her. One of the hardest things for my family to adjust to is the fact that I can’t be alone or get undressed in front of some of my male relatives. To them, it’s just Patrick or Mike or Kari, what’s the harm? They do not understand that some relatives are not considered maharim who fall under the category of strangers, and are, therefore, legal for marriage under Islamic Shari’ah.
Remember: Two habits that are commonly practiced in some Muslim communities and societies, which are unlawful, and Muslims should be warned against are:
Privacy With Non-mahram
Satan is always eager to tempt people and to make them fall into what is unlawful, and for this reason Allah (swt) warns us saying, “O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Satan. And whosoever follows the footsteps of Satan, then verily he commands what is indecent and wrong.” [24:21] One of the Satan’s means to tempt people into sin, is privacy with Non-mahram women, for this reason the Shari’iah has prohibited it. The Prophet, (sws), said, “A man does not meet privately with a women without the Satan being the third (present).” (Tirmithi) Ibn Umar narrated that the Prophet, (sws), also said, “From now on a man must not drop in on a non-mahram woman unless accompanied by one or two men.” (Muslim) therefore, a man is not allowed to be alone with a stranger-woman in a house or a room, or in a car, even if that woman is his sister-in-law or his maid, or his patient [in the case of a physician] etc. Many people are very lax concerning this rule, thinking they have confidence in controlling themselves or confidence in the other party, but this leads to fornication or to its preambles, and causes the increase of illegitimate children.
Shaking the Hands of Non-mahram
The traditions of certain societies have prevailed over Allah’s Shari’ah concerning this matter. Their wrong habits have overcome the rule of religion so much that when one presents the rule of Shari’ah to them, he is accused of being backward. Shaking the hand of one’s female cousins, or one’s uncles wives has become as easy as falling off a long in our societies, but if people considered seriously the dangers of this matter in the Shari’ah, they would not do it. The Prophet (sws), said, “it is better for one of you to be pierced by an iron needle in the head than to touch the hand of a woman that is not allowed to him.” (Tabarani) This sin is considered fornication of the hand, as the Prophet, (sws), said, “The eyes fornicate, the hands fornicate, and the feet fornicate, and the intimate parts fornicate.” (Ahmad) Is there a person purer than Muhammad (sws)? And in spite of that he said, “I do not shake women’s hands.” (Ahmad) He also said, “I do not touch women’s hands,” (Tabarani) Aisha, (rwa), said, “No by Allah, the Prophet’s hand never touched a women’s hand, he used to accept their pledge of allegiance by [hearing their] words only.” (Muslim) Men who threaten to divorce their pious wives if they refuse to shake their brothers’ hands should fear Allah. It should also be known that wearing a glove or wrapping the hand with a cloth while shaking hands is not allowed either.
It is widely recognized that adolescence is the most dangerous and tumultuous period in the life of an individual. IF the child passes this period safely, it his hoped that he will have a happy and successful life later. For this reason, Islam prescribes on every parent whose child approaches adolescence to guard him against anything that might arouse his sexual desire, and this should being when the child is around ten.
Supervision of Children Inside the Home
- The parents should supervise their children by making sure that they behave in an Islamic way and are aware of the Islamic rules that protect them from sexual arousal. These rules are summarized as follows:
- When the boy is ten years or older, he should not enter a place where women are gathered, especially if they are wearing their beautiful attires and have adorned themselves with makeup and jewelry. The Prophet (swt) said, “Beware of entering [places] where women are!” (Bukhari and Muslim)
- Children ten years and older should not share the same bed even if they are of the same sex, as the Prophet advised, saying, “Enjoin your children to perform salah when they are seven, and spank them for it when they are ten, and let them sleep in separate beds.” (al-Hakim and Abu Dawud)
- Adolescent boys and girls should at this age be familiar with the etiquette of looking at the opposite sex, and apply its rules.
- The child must be supervised as to what he watches on television. Better yet, television should be avoided altogether. Nobody in his right mind can deny the overwhelming presence of sex in all television programs, including cartoons, news, and documentaries. Bringing a television set into one’s house is like bringing a fox into the chicken coop. There is no excuse for the Muslim parents to let his child watch such debasing programs, which the disbelievers themselves criticize.’ The child who knows what the Shariah enjoins him to lower his gaze will realize that it is almost impossible to watch television and at the same time observer, the divine order of lowering one’s gaze, and that watching television will undoubtedly arouse his desire to commit sins.
- The child should be supervised concerning the materials he reads, such as books and magazines. Moreover the books the child gets from, or that are assigned to him by non-Islamic schools should be closely monitored. Parents should not hesitate to enter the child’s room after asking permission, in order to make sure that he does not turn it into a hiding place for forbidden materials.
- Finally, by the age of ten, the child should not be allowed to befriend anyone from the opposite sex, whether a relative or a neighbor, not even for studying or competing. It is a dangerous slip that might lead the child to fornicate.
Supervision of Children Outside of the Home
Muslim children leaving home are like soldiers going to the battlefield; they should be armed to ward off the dangers awaiting them outside. Although too numerous to cite, here are a few:
- The dangers of the cinema and theater, which base their products almost entirely on sex, for their belief that ‘sex sells’.
- The dangers of women’s clothing where the woman’s dress is ever shrinking in length.
- The dangers of the brothels and prostitutes are obvious. Needless to say that these are diseases that have become a fixture in almost all societies, and hence the child should at any price be protected from them.
- The dangers of indecent pictures intended to sharpen the sexual appetite, and which are exposed everywhere in the streets
- The dangers of befriending other children who might have a bad influence on the child. The Prophet (swt) warned against befriending bad people, saying, “A man is of the same faith as his bosom friend, so make sure whom you take as a bosom friend.” (Ibn Hibban)
- The dangers of intermingling the two sexes. It may appear that the mixing of young boys and girls in school presents no harm, but in fact the child becomes so accustomed to being mixed with the opposite sex that later the idea of segregating himself form the opposite sex becomes strange to him.
Communication is the Best Strategy
In the face of all these dangers, supervision outside the house becomes impossible, and in fact may not even be a good strategy, considering the more mature personality of the child at this age. A more positive attitude is to help him regulate his own sexual desire, and correct himself. Some of the ways in which this can be done include:
- Educating and enlightening the child about the dangers outside the home. The child should realize that these diseases of the society are not part of his Islamic heritage. Some of them are result of foreign ideologies and philosophies, ranging form the Freudian theories which base everything on sex; to the Marxist and Communist theories which deny the existence of the Creator and make man his own god; to the Hippies and the sexual revolution, etc. The child should be educated about his own Islamic heritage and should know that Islam preaches decency and chastity, and that what the child sees in the streets is the result of the deviation from the true religion of Islam.
- Parents should constantly caution the child abut the dangerous consequences of fornication. No sinful act has greater repercussion on the person’s life, and the society as a whole, than the act of fornication. Parents should explicitly caution their child about these dangers as soon as they sense that he or she is mature enough to understand them. Some of these harmful consequences include:
1-Repercussion on the child’s health: Many children and young men are unaware that sexual promiscuity leads to many sexually transmitted diseases. One such disease AIDS, a deadly disease that has become the plague of sexually promiscuous societies. One single sexual act my ruin the child’s health forever. This danger alone is an incentive strong enough to caution the child against the sin of fornication and any path that leads to it.
2- Repercussion on the society: Any society in which sexual rules are relaxed suffers from many illnesses such as a high number of unwed mothers, children born out of wedlock, a high number of rapists, and finally the gradual destruction of the nuclear family
3-Repercussionon the economy: No doubt that the wave of fatherless children resulting from the plague of fornication constitutes an economic burden on the society. On the other hand, a man who commits such acts acquires a sense of irresponsibility, which will no doubt reflect on his work, and on the society as a whole.
4-Repercussion on the Hereafter: It is very important that he child should fear Allah’s Punishment if he commits this abominable sin. Allah says, “And those who invoke not with Allah any other god nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse; and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace.” [25:68-69]
- Connecting the child to his religious roots. Parents should teach their children Islamic culture and history. The child should also know the norms within a Muslim community and the way social activities (gatherings, sports, hobbies, etc.) are performed according to the Islamic Shariah. Parents should encourage even insist- that the child chooses his friends from the company of well-behaved Muslims children.
When a child reaches puberty, he becomes fully accountable for his deeds in the Sight of Allah
- The parents of the adolescent boy should inform him that the first time he ejaculates, he becomes accountable for his actions in front of Allah, and he should perform the acts of worship in the same way that adult Muslims do.
- When a girl is about nine years old, her parents should inform her that the first time she sees blood (menstruation), she becomes accountable for her acts and that the acts of worship are prescribed for Muslim women are also prescribed for her.
When the child reaches puberty, there are certain rules that parents should explain to him or her, which include:
- If the child has a sexual dream, he does not have to take a bath (ghusl) unless he sees or feels wetness on his clothes or bed sheets due to sperm ejaculation. In the case of a girl, vaginal discharge, the type of viscous discharge that commonly occurs after a woman has had an orgasm, should be noticed before it is necessary to take a bath. Such was the answer of the Prophet, (sws), to Khawlah Bint Hakeem, who asked him if a woman should make ghusl when she has a sexual dream. He said, “No ghusl on her unless she has a discharge, similarly there is no ghusl on the man unless he ejaculates.” (Ahmed and Nasa’I)
- When the child wakes up and sees or feels wetness due to sexual discharge, he/she should perform ghusl even if he/she did not remember having any dream.
- When the boy ejaculates due to sexual arousal, whether voluntary or involuntary, he should perform ghusl. The same rule applies to the girl if she had an orgasm or vaginal discharge.
- Young men and young women whoa re about to get married should know that during sexual intercourse, as soon as penetration occurs they both should perform ghusl whether there was a discharge or not. The Prophet (sws) said, “When he sits between her arms and legs, and the two organs touch, and his organ disappears (in hers), there should be ghusl, whether he ejaculated or not.” (Muslim)
- When the girl does not see any more blood at the end of menses, she should perform ghusl. The married woman should know that after childbirth she should make ghusl as soon as the bleeding stops.
The next step is obviously to teach the child how to perform ghusl and the Sunan acts of ghusl. He or she should know that acts that are unlawful to him or her while in a state of sexual impurity. These include:
- During menstruation, or after birth bleeding, a woman is forbidden to pray, fast, hold the Quran, enter a mosque unless passing through it, make tawaf (i.e., circumambulate the Ka’bah), or have sexual intercourse. For Allah says, “They ask you about menstruation, say: it is a harmful thing, therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them until they are clean.” [2:222]
- Men and women who are in a state of sexual impurity (janabah) are prohibited from reading the Quran or touching it before making ghusl. For the Prophet (sws), said, “the Menstruating woman and the one in a state of sexual impurity must not read anything from the Quran.” (Tirmidhi). They are also forbidden to pray, enter he mosque, or make tawaf.
- The child should learn to inspect his clothes and keep them clean from sperm (or vaginal discharge), or in fact, any liquid discharge from the sexual organs.
Unmarried Staying Chaste
- Today, young people, especially young men are under constant pressure to conform to the norms of the larger society, and to express his manhood through loose sexual behavior. To be a virgin in this day and age is looked upon as a sexual deviancy, while promiscuity and sexual perversions are looked at as normal. Muslim youth should always be guarded against such thinking, and steps should be taken to guard their chastity until marriage becomes a viable option. But what should young men do, if they wish to get married but cannot afford it? Allah says concerning them, “And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them of His Bounty.” [24:33]
Many means are offered to Muslim youths to help them to preserve their chastity. Some have been discussed earlier, such as lowering the gaze, keeping away from anything that induces arousal, seeking the company of righteous people and fearing the punishment of Allah, Some other ways are:
- Filling one’s idle time with physical and intellectual activities, so that one does not engage in sexual fantasies that arouses the desire. Physical activity is a good way to expend extra energy, and also to relieve pressure
- Practicing voluntary fasting, as fasting decreases the sexual drive, and brings one closer to Allah. The Prophet (sws) said, “Those who cannot (marry) should fast, for it is a means of cooling sexual passion.” (Bukhari)
- Most of all, unmarried people should strengthen their religious deterrent within themselves. One good way is to remember that many verse in the Quran warning against zinaa. Also, they can consider the story of Yusuf, who is the perfect example of the chaste man, “And she, in whose house he was, sought to seduce him, she closed the doors and said, ‘Come on, O you.’ He said, ‘Allah forbid!” [12:23]
Deviations are Wrong
Regardless of the consensus of the larger society, homosexuality is not a sexual norm, or alternative. Islam considers homosexuality as a sexual deviation leading to a perverted act which goes against the natural order Allah intended for mankind. It is a corruption of the man's sexuality and a crime against the opposite sex. Therefore, the Islamic Shariah strictly prohibits the practice of this perverted act, which is mentioned in many places in the Holy Quran.
The story of Prophet Lot's people, who were addicted to this practice, is the best example. Prophet Lot alaye asalam, said to his people, "Verily, you do sodomy with men, and rob the wayfarer! And practice all wickedness in your meetings." [29:29] And he said to them, "Of all the creatures of the world, will you approach males, and leave those whom Allah has created for you to be your wives? Nay, you are trespassing people!" [26:165-166] But their answer to Prophet Lot was, "bring us the Wrath of Allah if you are telling us the Truth." [29:29] An so Allah gave them the punishment they deserved. "And We rained on them a rain of torment. And how evil was the rain of those who had been warned." [26:173] Because of the danger, and the atrocity of this crime, Allah punished the people who committed it by four kinds of punishments. No people have been punished by all four combined before: He blinded their eyes, He turned the town of Sodom upside down, He rained on them stones of baked clay piled up, and He sent against them a sayhah [a torment and an awful cry].
Just as a person who has a sexual urge should not satisfy it by committing zina, a person who has this perverted thought should not act upon it. IN order to maintain the purity of the Muslim society, most Muslim scholars have ruled that the punishment for this act should be the same as for zina (i.e., one hundred whiplashes for the man who has never married and death by stoning for the married man). Some have even ruled that the punishment of both partners in sodomy is execution by the sword, if they committed the act by their own choice and agreement. For Ibn Abbas narrated that the Prophet (sws) said, "Whomever you found committing the crime of Lot's people [i.e., sodomy], then kill both partners." (Ahmad) the unprecedented plagues and the many dangerous diseases that have appeared in our time such as the fatal AIDS disease, and which are the result of the is immoral crime, show the wisdom of inflicting such as strong punishment for this sin.
What about Masturbation?
Guarding one's chastity also includes staying away from masturbation. Sexual arousal may drive a person to masturbation. Such a person should know, however, that the majority of the scholars consider this practice unlawful. This ruling is bases on the Words of Allah Who says, "Those who guard their private parts except from their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for them, they are free from blame. But those who crave something beyond that, are transgressors." [23:5-7]
The one who masturbates is considered to be among 'those who crave something beyond that' specified in the verse A Muslim should therefore resist his temptation by avoiding anything that leads to sexual arousal. The Prophet's advice to the Muslim youth is to seek help through frequent fasting, for it strengthens the fear of Allah, teaches self control, and cools one's desire.